So the question is, how do we recognize this culture change and how do we find facilities that have already put these changes into place?

First, it is important that you know what you are looking for, and to actually go look. A great place to start is with the “Artifacts of Culture Change” which can be found by clicking on this link: www.artifactsofculturechange.org.

As excerpted from The Pioneer Network’s Creating Home – A Guide to Better Care Options for an Aging America …

Key questions to ask skilled nursing facilities:

How is your nursing home involved in culture change?
Listen for: ”We have a committee that works on making our place a home for residents who liver here. Residents and families serve on the committee. Staff members attend culture change coalition meetings. … We have consistent assignment so that our staff can get to know the residents they are caring for, including residents’ individual needs and wishes.

Do the CNAs/Nursing assistants take care of the same group of residents each time they work, or do you rotate assignments after a period of time?
Listen for: “Consistent assignment.” “With few exceptions, our caregivers care for the same group of residents each time they come to work.”

Will my loved one be awakened at a set time in the morning, or will he/she have a choice?
Listen for: Residents may choose to sleep as long as they want without being awakened.

What is your policy regarding food choices and alternatives?
Listen for: “Let me show you a list of alternatives we always have on hand if someone does not like the main entrée being offered. Do you think your loved one would be satisfied with these? If not, we can usually accommodate her wishes.”

Can my loved one be given a shower/bath when he/she chooses?
Listen for: “Yes. We can accommodate a person’s lifelong pattern of bathing. Plus we understand about the special needs of persons with dementia. We have many creative ways to keep people clean, so we can adapt to their preferences and comfort, and still maintain cleanliness.”

How do you meet the special needs of persons with some type of dementia?
Listen for: “We educate our staff on how to best communicate with people with dementia. Because we have consistent assignments, staff know the residents well and can anticipate and meet their needs in flexible, creative ways. We also support and teach staff how to problem-solve difficult situations.”

For more questions to ask, click on this link to The Pioneer Network:  www.pioneernetwork.net

What if you can’t find suitable facilities in your area, or “the good ones” have no beds available?

Because of marketplace demand, person-directed care will become the only option in the future, but that will not happen overnight. As a consumer, you can do your part to influence the rate of the change by taking a few actions:

• Keep looking and keep spreading the word. The more that nursing home providers hear consumers asking for it, the faster they will be motivated to make the changes that we all want for our loved ones and ourselves.
• Visit nursing homes in your community to get a sense of whether or not they are practicing person-directed care. If a nursing home is unfamiliar with culture change, direct them to the Pioneer Network site and/or give them a copy of the Artifacts of Culture change.
• Become a part of your state or local culture change coalition to help bring about change in long-term care settings in your area. To find one in your area, go to www.pioneernetwork.net/Coalitions/Find.
• Join the email list of Pioneer Network so you can be kept informed of culture change news.

What can you do if your loved one is currently in a facility?

• Help the staff get to know him/her and you … quickly.
• Attend care planning meetings;
• Ask questions and share information – in writing – about who your loved one is, their life history and daily routines.
• Stay involved and don’t be afraid to speak up and be an advocate.
• Consider joining or starting a family council. For information on family councils, visit the Family Council Center on the website of the National Consumer Voice for Quality Long-Term Care (www.theconsumervoice.org).

In addition to The Pioneer Network, the following books are excellent resources:

• Nursing Homes: Getting Good Care There, by Virginia Fraser, Sara Hunt, Barbara Frank, and Sarah Greene Burger.
• Old Age in a New Age: The Promise of Transformative Nursing Homes, by Beth Baker.

As my three part series come to a close, I ask you the same questions The Pioneer Network asked me …

Imagine your own aging …
Will you want choices in where and how you live?
Will you want to be a part of a community of people who care about each other?
Will you act now so that all elders will enjoy a good life?
Will you join the culture change movement to help create old age in a new way?

If so, this is your call to action!

When aging in place (in your own home) is not an option, skilled nursing facilities often present the only viable option.  But what we know of these types of facilities makes us very afraid!  Long Term Care Culture Change can and will change if we help to get the momentum going!  To read part one, scroll down to the most recent blog posting.

What is Long Term Care Culture Change?

Long Term Care Culture Change involves making changes to an organization’s (and in this case, an assisted living or skilled nursing facility’s) leadership and workplace practices, workforce models, physical environments, and all spectrums of relationships (resident, families, communities, staff members, company leaders). It is offered referred to as a transformation from task-centered to person-centered care.

And what does it look like?

• Individuals have control over their own daily schedule (waking, sleeping, exercising, activities, bathing).
• Staff works with a consistent group of residents AND staff turnover is low.
• Residents have more choices about what and where people eat, and what is on the menu.
• Rooms are personalized with residents’ own belongings and furnishings.
• Rooms are grouped into neighborhoods that have common dining, kitchen, laundry, and entertainment areas.
• There are private rooms and personal spaces.
• Nursing stations are removed and overhead paging systems are used for emergencies, only.
• Family member involvement is welcomed and encouraged.
• Focus is on quality of life as well as quality of care.
• Local community/neighborhood involvement through activities, visits, and volunteers is supported and actively encouraged.
• Staff members are advocates for the people they are caring for.
• Oftentimes, have dedicated “memory units” cater specifically to the individualized needs of those residents who have any of the many types of dementia.

Note that the changes are not just about physical environment, but also about the relationships between staff, residents, and the community. Additionally, an outcome is some sense of autonomy – an independence, so to speak, at a time in life when independence is being lost at a pretty rapid rate.

While these changes may not seem major, anyone who has spent time either visiting or residing in a long term care facility will tell you otherwise.

So, where do we find facilities such as those described above, and how can we influence our communities to have more of them? Stay tuned for part 3 of the series to find out!

In the meantime, check out this link to the Pioneer Network to find out more about this very important topic …

http://www.pioneernetwork.net/CultureChange/

There is a current trend in today’s society to enable folks to “Age in Place.” By this, we mean making it possible to for people to stay in their homes as long as possible – ideally until the very end of life. Why? Because it is more comfortable, less disruptive, a way control our situations and to remain independent as long as possible, and a much better environment in which to live. And, it is also likely to be less expensive, depending on the health condition of the person involved.

But what happens when this is not possible? Perhaps a person has no support system (like family) locally and is need of some type of assistance to be able to meet some basic needs. Or, maybe a person has a debilitating medical condition that simply is too difficult to manage in the home. There are definitely times when “Aging in Place” is not only impossible, but also not in the best interest of the individual involved.

This becomes one of the most difficult situations we encounter as get older … and it is universal … we all must go through it, if not for our parents or other relatives, then for ourselves. It can, and likely will, happen to you …

So what are the options when staying at home without assistance isn’t an option?

Option #1: You bring the care (and all that goes along with it) into your home. Depending on the level of assistance needed, this may require 24/7 care by family or by hiring an outside agency. This is not a viable solution for many due to the unavailability of family members, financial resources, or some combination of the two.

Option #2: You put your loved one in a facility in which he/she will live the rest of their days. This solution is feared by many – both those that face the prospect of ending up in one of these facilities, and those who are responsible for placing them there. Think about it … when was the last time you heard someone say, “I just can’t wait to move into the nursing home?!”

These (skilled nursing) facilities are, most often, hospital-like institutions that are not a desired destination. In fact, they are usually the last resort of care – when it is determined that there is no other alternative. For the most part, these places are depressing. If you have never visited one, picture this: many residents sitting expressionless in their wheelchairs in the hallway, unpleasant sounds and smells, two or three people/beds in one room, nursing stations, loudspeakers, and employees moving about – most not very happily – in scrubs or other types of hospital-like uniforms. And, to make it even more painful, the cost of this care often wipes away any assets a person had, and digs deep into the assets of their loved ones, as well, unless they had the foresight to do some advanced planning (which many do not).

I often think – what must be going through the minds of the residents? Is this what they imagined as their final home? And, what about the loved ones who made the decision for this type of care? I simply cannot imagine any of my loved ones being in a place like the one described. And if that is my own destiny, well, it just can’t be. No wonder there is so much fear about aging … thinking that this type of care situation is a possibility for yourself or loved one … I would be (and am) very afraid!!

Does it really have to be that way?

Well, the answer (thankfully) is no.

As the Aging in Place trend has gained momentum, another movement – Long Term Care Culture Change – has emerged. An organization called the Pioneer Network, an organization who is focused on culture change in the long-term care community, has spearheaded efforts to create this change throughout the United States, and I am happy to report that I have actually seen the results of this in at least one long term care facility close to my own home. Unfortunately, the change is not gaining the widespread momentum it needs to in order to make this type of care a possibility for the majority … at least not quickly enough for my liking!

Stay tuned for a series of future blogs that will further describe the basic components of the Long Term Care Culture Change process, and will give you some ideas as to what part you can play in making that change a reality in your own community. You can make a difference, and you need to … because this topic will touch your life in some way, guaranteed.

Take 4 minutes to watch/ listen to this incredibly touching song set in a long term care facility.

She Calls Me Raymond

I was taken a little off guard … but then again, why should I have been? The more I immerse myself in this topic of aging, the more I see how our society (generally speaking) has a negative view. The denial is pretty amazing, as well. Just ask folks if they have sent in their AARP application and be ready to hear how they are offended that they keep getting these notices mailed to them on or before their 50th birthday. Not to mention the drama that’s associated with reaching the big 5-0, as though it is the entry-point to the gloom and doom filled final chapter of life. The beginning of the end, so to speak.

So what – then – is “Positive Aging?”

The term “Positive Aging” evolved from the field of “positive psychology” championed in the 1990s by Martin Seligman, PhD, and it seeks to answer these questions: How can individuals age well and what are the conditions that society can consider and invent in order to improve the possibilities?

“The Positive Aging movement doesn’t say everything is sweetness and light as we get older,” says Katrina Rogers, PhD, director of Fielding Graduate University’s Institute for Social Innovation, and host of this year’s Positive Aging Conference. “Quite the opposite. Yet we must create the best situation possible, which involves our own active engagement.”

As stated in Fielding Graduate University’s publication Fielding Focus, “While seeking to facilitate access to resources, invent better systems of eldercare, and educate the population they serve about transitions to come, those in the positive aging movement also seek to promote social justice and to combat cultural stereotypes that objectify or infantilize the elderly.”

Author Robert Hill, in his book Positive Aging, identified the following key ingredients for “later-life happiness:”

• Taking control of our lives
• Being active in our communities
• Being engaged with others
• Building close relationships
• Seeking meaning and purpose

So, that being said, creating a culture that fosters this type of engagement is the essence of what the Positive Aging movement is all about.

Back to the question … is positive aging an oxymoron? The answer – only if you believe it to be (and obviously, I do not)! And with that, I will leave you to ponder a quote from Ebenezer Scrooge, from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol:

“Men’s courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if persevered in, they must lead. But if the course be departed from, the ends will change.”

May we all listen to Mr. Scrooge!

Happy Holidays to all!

Carolyn Lukert
www.transformingtransitions.com

The first leg of the flight was quite uneventful, even with the new security routines. The second, because of an insanely long wait on ramp prior to being allowed to get out of the plane, almost resulted in a missed connection. But I made it, and I was prepared for the long, boring cross-country trek.

Little did I know …

My two row-mates (Lee and Richard) and I quickly established rapport over a crazy baggage issue that resulted in Lee having her carry-on luggage taken from her at the gate, checked, and then sent to an incorrect destination … long story, and I am looking forward to hearing the outcome.

Then while exchanging the normal pleasantries – like, where are you headed, why, etc., the Positive Aging conference became the catalyst for discussion that took us all the way to LA.

Lee, who was heading home to Fresno, is an educator who is extremely interested in the multigenerational dynamics of our world today. She had a copy of a recently published report on the topic of Living to 100. I immediately knew I had a new friend who speaks the same language as I do! And then there’s Richard, a former air force pilot who proudly announced that in his 70s, he is happily working … and, his wife has recently gone back to college to study nutrition, specifically related to the older adult. Amazing examples of positive aging! We then went on to cover a number of topics around which we found more common interests. We shared pictures, passed my laptop back and forth sharing the free inflight wifi connection, and even progressed to the point of pooling some of our inflight snacks.

Richard and I even have the same odd combination of dogs – we both have a sheltie and a Jack Russell.

It was pretty bizarre, actually, in a wonderful way! We were kind of disappointed when the flight ended. We agreed that it had been the best row dynamics we had ever experienced on an airplane … ever!

So, the takeaway from the story … it’s not always about the destination … Enjoy the journey along the way! You might be surprised at how awesome that journey might be!

Lee – hope you and your luggage made it to the proper destination (along with that free round-trip ticket to Hawaii that we all thought you should get for the aggravation), and Richard – hope your visit with your daughter, grandson, and former college roommate all went well! My panel discussion/ speaking engagement at the conference went off without a hitch, and I am now engaging in some major learning on topics I know you would both enjoy.

Thanks for enjoyable ride!

Carolyn
www.transformingtransitions.com

We all have stress in our lives. Some amount of stress is healthy, a lot is not, and the way we deal with that stress can have a major impact on our health and longevity.

Wouldn’t it be nice if one of the most joyous times of the year didn’t add to that stress? In an effort find some simple strategies to address this topic, I stumbled upon an e-book entitled How to Reduce Stress During the Holidays, by Kristi Hilburn. Her tips are in bold, and my comments follow:

1. Stick to a schedule – Let’s face it. Most of us thrive on having a routine. Don’t let your regular routine go out the window during this period.
2. Express your feelings, and do so in a positive way – Talking with those close to you about your feelings of stress is healthy, as long as it’s done in a way that shows you are taking steps to deal with it positively.
3. Ask for help – Most of us struggle with this one, but it’s really not that difficult once you get into the habit. Find ways to involve your family members/ friends in completing the holiday task list.
4. Know your limits and abide by them – I think we can all recall times when we have “bitten off more than we can chew.” Be especially cognizant of this during the holiday season.
5. Don’t be afraid to say no – similar to the previous point, this is really about taking control, and having the confidence to respectfully decline where it makes sense to do so. Just because you have always done something doesn’t mean you must continue.
6. Don’t strive for perfection – this is another challenging one, especially depending on your personality type. If perfection is your goal, the chances of being disappointed are quite high. Nobody is perfect, and it’s the imperfections that make our lives and events unique.
7. Remember what makes the holiday season special for you, and maintain focus on that. Think back to what the holidays have meant to you over the years. For many, it’s a time of sharing and togetherness. If we can keep that thought first and foremost, everything else takes a back seat.
8. Do some realistic planning – Taking even a small amount of time to develop a game plan around the activities associated with the holidays will help you gain control of the situation.
9. Take a break – Everyone needs a bit of down time. Perhaps stopping to have a cup of coffee with a friend, or going to a movie, or doing something for yourself will offer you that down time to regroup and recharge.
10. Be Budget Conscious – So much of holiday stress relates to the $$ spent during this season. Make a budget and stick to it. Period.
11. Practice Giving – There are many ways to give, several of which involve time, not money. Since the spirit of the season is really about giving, be especially aware of opportunities where you could lend a helping hand or do something special. Involve your family and friends in this, as well.
12. Take your time – When I think of the hustle and bustle of the holidays, the word “rush” comes to mind. Everyone seems to be in a rush – too much to do, too little time to do it. Slow down. Develop a few strategies to avoid the rush – like taking a morning off from work to do the bulk of your shopping.
13. Use “Time-Savers” along the way – If you are hosting a gathering of any size, using disposable plates, utensils, cups, etc. can make clean-up much easier and yes, less stressful.
14. Say “Thank You” – Be sure to show your gratitude along the way. You will feel better about yourself, and the other person will feel good, too.
15. Leave yourself time for the unexpected – this time of year is concentrated with all kinds of activities – parties, events, shopping, parades – most of which can cause unexpected delays in our daily lives. Reconcile yourself to that fact, and allow yourself extra time to get to where you are going.

Now here’s a novel idea … how about using the holiday time to develop year round habits to reduce your overall stress level … what a great gift to yourself!

And here is one of my favorite artists playing a very soothing version of a Christmas favorite …  Happy Holidays!

Kenny G – Joy to the World

Carolyn
www.transformingtransitions.com

There are education plans, financial plans, career plans, business plans, vacation plans, retirement plans, health plans, physical training plans, nutrition plans, family plans, estate plans, and even very detailed end of life plans.  And that’s just the short list!  Franklin Covey would make a mint (and probably has, for that matter) developing planning tools for all of these!

For those who are NOT natural planners, you might be saying … what is the point?  I am a “go with the flow” kind of person … I am adaptable … I take life as it comes and just deal with it!  In fact, that may be seen as a very desirable strength.  And, oh yeah, so many things happen that are unpredictable – how can you possibly plan for all of those things?  How many times have you heard people say, “Now that wasn’t part of the plan!”

So here’s the thing …

While having a rigid plan for every little thing you do may be undesirable and may set some pretty unrealistic expectations of you and those around you, having some sort of plan around at least the more important areas of your life will likely benefit you in the long run.  Without a plan, you react to whatever happens to come your way.  Good or bad.  And you may do this well, or you may not.

Let me give you a good example.  I have had the recent opportunity to work with several folks who have found themselves in the very undesirable position of being unemployed in this recessionary economy.  Many of these individuals have worked for 20, even 30 years, and never imagined they would be without jobs.  I guarantee you – this was definitely not in the plan!  However, the individuals who seem to be faring the best are those who have quickly become busy developing a plan to move forward, with a few different alternative pathways built in to their plans.  They have put some time and effort into defining what they are looking for, outlined specific strategies for their job searches, sought assistance as appropriate, and have found ways to track progress, even when real progress has come slowly.  Those who took the time to develop a plan seem to be more hopeful (more alternatives = more hope), and are the ones who have been more successful in ultimately finding jobs – and good jobs at that.

The same rationale holds true for many other areas.   Even a little planning goes a long way.  And the good news is that there are lots of resources around to help, so regardless of the topic for which you want to plan, my guess is that you can find someone or something to get you started.

The key to remember … plans aren’t set in stone.  They are roadmaps, which oftentimes involve many course corrections on the path to the final destination.  So don’t let the fear of unpredictable events keep you from making a plan.

So, what’s your plan?

Carolyn

www.transformingtransitions.com

PS … Here is a link to one of my very favorite artists of all times – Dan Fogelberg – and his song – Part of the Plan.

Part of the Plan, Dan Fogelberg

One of the activities that I conduct early in my workshop series is to have participants complete a longevity calculator.  There are many of these available … my favorite can be found on www.livingto100.com.  I do this activity to set the stage … to get participants in the mindset that a long life is very likely.  More times than not, those who complete the calculator (which gives you a life expectancy number based on your answers to several questions) say something to the effect of “No way!  I don’t want to live that long!”  The reason … when we think of living to an advanced age – say 90 or 100 – we often think of people who are not living the best lives (certainly not prospering).  Perhaps they are being kept alive by medication, or they are living in situations requiring constant care … who knows … but the fact of the matter is none of us really want to live that way.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could live long, happy, fulfilling lives, and then – when the time comes – the end-of-life “poor health period” passes by quickly with very little suffering?  Now that is something that I would aspire to, and would earn the Live Long and Prosper label, as well!

Well, there are actually things we can do to impact the way in which we age, and who better to tell us than those who have already lived those kinds of lives.  In their book, Living to 100 – Lessons to Living to your Potential any Age, authors Thomas Perl, MD, MPH, and Margery Hutter Silver, Ed.D, recount the results of studies performed on several centenarians, and this is what they discovered about healthy aging and longevity:

Disease avoidance is key. The good news is that lifestyle has much more to do with this than most people realize.  The notion that we are doomed (or blessed) to what our genes contribute continues to be dispelled.  That is not to say we should ignore our family histories, but paying attention to those things we can control in our lifestyle to contribute to disease avoidance is definitely as – if not more – important.

Things like …

• Following a balanced diet to control weight, cholesterol, blood sugar, and contribute positively to heart health.  Consumption of a low-fat diet with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, appears to be associated with lower rates of many cancers, including colon, lung, and prostate.
• Engaging in regular physical exercise (at least 3-4 times per week) – you don’t have to be training for a marathon, or anything quite so extreme, but exercising to build strength helps with weight control, improved metabolism, and handling of stress, among other things.  In addition, exercise has beneficial effects on hormone levels and immune system activity, both of which may contribute to cancer prevention.  Contrary to what many believe, people can exercise (in some way) almost all their lives.
• Participating in activities that challenge your brain, like playing a musical instrument, learning a language, engaging in lifelong learning.  Research has shown these types of activities to prevent or delay Alzheimer’s and certain forms of dementia, in addition to preserving thinking abilities.
• Approaching life situations with a sense of humor and a positive outlook.  These positive personality traits – according to Dr. Perl – can take people past their expected limits of strength, and can mean the difference between live and death.
• Practicing good stress management techniques.  Studies of healthy centenarians have shown that they have the ability to “shed” stress and deal effectively with the challenges that come their way.  The physiological effects of failing to deal properly with stress are numerous, impacting physical functioning as well as diminishing the efficiency of the brain.  In addition, anxious and fearful thoughts commonly associated with poor stress management can themselves negatively impact health.  Dr. Perl tells us that high anxiety levels disturb heartbeat, immune function, and blood clotting in ways that increase the likelihood of heart attack.  Stress and fear spark an all-body “alert” signal that invokes the body’s natural “battle hormones.”  When these hormones are constantly on, they can damage important systems like digestion and skin, and actually accelerate aging.
• Continuously growing and nurturing your social connections.  Studies have proven that the more meaningful social connections one has (in addition to the spousal/partner relationship), the healthier and more satisfied one is with life.
• Practicing some form of religion. According to Perl, “piety has significant protective effects for older people.  They consistently invoke some form of religion as a way of dealing with illness, pain, and infirmity of all kinds.”
• Avoiding and/or quitting smoking is a key to disease avoidance as smoking is directly linked to several cancers (lung, colon, larynx, esophagus, bladder, kidney, pancreas, and possibly uterine and cervical).  Quitting smoking at any time in life, according to Perl, immediately reduces the risk of cancer, and within 10 to 15 years of quitting, former smokers’ lung cancer risk is close to that of people who have never smoked.
• Avoiding excessive sun exposure.  Skin cancer is one of the most avoidable forms of human cancer, and I would suggest the one that is often most ignored.  Wearing protective hats/clothing, or sunscreen with SPF 15 or greater, doesn’t seem too arduous a routine to follow.
• Having regular checkups with associated preventive screenings for heart disease, colon cancer, skin cancer, hypertension, breast cancer, and osteoporosis, to name a few.

While all of this may seem overwhelming, I encourage you consider each of these elements individually.  Hopefully you will find that you are already doing many of them, and can incorporate the rest into your life over time.  Another key point to remember is that it is never too late to make any of these changes.  Regardless of your age, a change in the right direction will likely have a positive impact on your longevity.

So, everyone … Live Long and Prosper!

Carolyn Lukert

www.transformingtransitions.com

PS … For those of you who need to put some attention to the stress management part of the equation, take a few minutes to watch and listen to one of my favorite feel-good, mood-lifting, stress-relieving songs!

Don\’t Worry Be Happy

Today, I am writing about unpacking and repacking – but not necessarily for a vacation.   I am referring to a process that, if done thoughtfully and deliberately on a regular basis, could make quite a difference in anyone’s life.  And while it will most certainly involve a journey, it may not necessarily result in any $$ for gas!

I have become quite a fan of authors Richard Leider and David Shapiro, who have written several books on transition, and purpose.  In their book, Repacking Your Bags:  Lighten Your Load for the Rest of Your Life, they introduce this metaphor that I have found to be quite thought-provoking, as I continue my work with people contemplating their own upcoming transitions.

In their words, the authors describe unpacking as “taking a long, hard look at what we’re carrying and why …  seeing if our possessions, relationships, work, and purpose are still helping us move forward, or if they are dragging us down.  And repacking then, as the ongoing and continuous activity of reflection and choice.  Rearranging our priorities.  Reframing our vision of the good life.  And recovering a new sense of being alive.”

So let’s break that down a bit …

Our possessions are those tangible items that we own (or borrow, perhaps).  It seems as though we accumulate things over our life and oftentimes we become weighed down – almost to the point of breaking – by those very same things.  Have you ever said to yourself, “If only I didn’t have (specific possession/ obligation), then I could do (what I really want to do and not have to make the $$ I make today.” ?  Trust me, if you have said that, you are not alone!

Our relationships are the connections to the people to whom we are closest.  When you look at your own relationships, are they healthy and nurturing?  And, does the nurturing go both ways?  Leider and Shapiro point out that most of us have a hunger for meaningful connections with other people, but at the same time, have an almost pathological inability to make those connections.  It takes time, commitment, the willingness to disclose our true feelings (unpacking), and – just as important – the willingness to listen to the other person.  If that is not happening, think about the weight of unhealthy relationships or, conversely, the heaviness associated with no meaningful relationships at all.  I can’t help think about the George Clooney character in the movie “Up in the Air” when this topic comes up.

Our work – how we spend a majority of our time and energy – becomes a key target of the unpacking/ repacking process.  Are you really doing what you want to be doing in an environment that you enjoy?  As we get into our 40s and 50s, this question takes on a greater sense of urgency (see my last blog, So What do you want to be when you grow up?).  Unless we have worked in environments that have nurtured this element, many of us may not know where our strengths lie.  Part of the unpacking process as it relates to work is to really analyze what our natural talents are and find a way to be in a role that enables us to do what we do best every day.  At the same time, knowing what we want and what we don’t in terms of workplace culture is an important element here.

And finally, our purpose – the often elusive, constant search for meaning in our lives.  Again, I will refer back to my previous blog on that topic, where purpose was described as helping us determine how we best spend our time and resources, providing our motivation – our reason for being.  It helps us to be intentional about what we do each day.  So how could we possibly repack our bags without knowing our purpose?  How would you know what was necessary, and what was not?

While I know I only touched the tip of the iceberg, I hope it gives you reason to pause and think about unpacking and repacking your own bags.  I leave you with a few meaningful quotes from the book, and I encourage you to either visit the library or the bookstore to find out more …

• “Repacking becomes a matter of finding the right balance between the important priorities in your life.  The first step to examine what you’re carrying and see if it appropriately reflects the trade-offs you are willing to make.”
• “The question becomes ‘How much stuff is enough?’  The weight of your pack ultimately determines the quality of your trip.”
• “Figure out what matters and what doesn’t; Invest your time and energy in things that do; Pack your bags with the things that “enable you to live purposefully” and set aside those that don’t.”

Safe journeys, everyone!

Carolyn Lukert

www.transformingtransitions.com

PS.  Watch/listen to a classic that hits on the “Packing your Bags” theme!

Peter, Paul, and Mary

As we add years to our lives, this question takes on a new edge.  Perhaps it’s realization that we may have now lived more years than we expect to live in the future (we are in the “second half,” so to speak), and there is a sense of urgency to figure it out.

I often interact with people who, like me, struggle with this question from time to time.  And what I have found is that having a clear sense of purpose seems to be the starting point for coming to the answer.

In their book, Something to Live For: Finding Your Way in the Second Half of Life, authors Richard Leider and David Shapiro provide a great tool to help us get started.

Annual Purpose Checkup

• I work at what I love to do.
• My daily choices are driven by a strong sense of purpose.
• I am wholehearted and authentic in my actions and words.
• There is a clear alignment between what I say my priorities are and how I spend my time.
• I invest my time in making a difference to others in the world.
• I put my whole self into all that I do.
• I know what I want to be remembered for.

The authors tell us that for each of our “yes” answers, we need to think about what we can do to sustain this sense of meaning in the year ahead?  For the others, what changes can we make to find more meaning in the coming months? And for all the questions, who can we talk with to expand our understanding and deepen our appreciation for greater meaning and purpose in our lives?

It’s no secret that having a strong sense of meaning and purpose is crucial to our well-being as we continue to age.  Purpose helps us determine how we best spend our time and resources, and it provides our motivation – our reason for being.  It gives us a reason to get up in the morning, and confirms that our existence matters.

So, add the Annual Purpose Checkup to your list of proactive measures.  If you do it and then take appropriate action based on your responses, you just may come to the elusive answer of the question:  Who do you want to be now that you have grown up?

Carolyn Lukert

www.transformingtransitions.com

PS … Click on the Purpose Prize link below to see some examples of people who have likely answered YES to each of the questions on their Annual Purpose Checkups.

Purpose Prize