Given that it is the holiday season and that time of year when consumerism is at its peak, you may be thinking that is what I am referring to with the title of this blog. While I can say I did utter those words a time or two during my very few shopping expeditions, I am referring to something on a much grander scale.
I am talking about money, and specifically, our relationship with the same. You see, this topic frequently comes up in my line of work. I have the unique and wonderful opportunity to speak with people daily about what’s next for them, and while I don’t set out to make it a financial discussion, it often leans in that direction at some point. And how can it not, really? When most of us think about making a life change, our personal finances often dictate what we even consider as a possibility. Many people tell me they can’t afford to retire or transition in any sense of the word, or even to scale back, because they have to be able to cover their bills, and their current income is barely allowing them to do that. And why should that be a surprise … isn’t that the American Way?
Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez, in their book Your Money or Your Life, address this topic in great detail, and explain it as clearly as I have ever seen. “Over time, our relationship with money – earning it, spending it, investing it, owing it, protecting it, worrying about it – has taken over the major part of our lives.” They go further to say that most of us aren’t actually making a living … we are making a dying. I must say, that got my attention! “We are killing ourselves – our health, our relationships, our sense of joy and wonder – for our jobs. In fact, we are sacrificing our lives for money, but it’s happening so slowly that we barely notice.” Robin and Dominguez are quick to point out that this applies not only to people who hate their jobs, but to those who love them, and all across the spectrum. The bottom line is that for many, there seems to be no real choice between their money and their lives.
So, what drives this?
Certainly our culture (which includes our upbringing and the messages we heard in our early years) has a lot to do with it. We live in a time and place where the generally accepted motto is “more is better” and there is a desire on the parts of many to “have it all.” So here is where the Enough word comes in … as Robin and Dominguez say, “if you live for having it all, what you have is never enough.”
As with most of the topics I cover in my blogs, I could go on and on, but I won’t! I will leave you with a few tidbits to contemplate …
- What is enough for you? My guess is that this may be hard for you to define. For Robin and Dominguez, it is enough for your survival, your comforts, and even some special luxuries, with no excess burden to you unnecessarily.
- What is the real price you are paying for “enough” as you define it?
Exploring this topic in more detail can be life-changing at any age, so if this has peaked any interest at all, my recommendation is that you read the book I referred to. You might be surprised at the transformation that occurs.
Enough said! (Sorry, I couldn’t resist …)
Carolyn Shaffer
www.transformingtransitions.com
