Greetings everyone!
Have you ever been afraid? So afraid that you couldn’t move? I would venture to say we have all had one or two of those moments in our lives.
So why am I writing about it? Well, in my conversations with numerous people over the last several months, I have discovered (not surprisingly) that fear is one of the main factors preventing folks from taking action (or even trying to plan) with regard to their futures. Fear that the social security system is going to be depleted by the time they need it; fear that the health care situation is going to be in complete disarray; fear that they will lose their jobs before they are ready to go; fear that they will be forced into taking some kind of action that they are not ready to take; fear that their loved ones or they themselves will get sick; fear that – if they take what seems to be a good opportunity now, it will backfire, and they would be better off just continuing to do what they do now – even though they hate it.
There is an endless list. And the result for many is paralysis, worry, and stress. Or, on the other end of the spectrum, a “wait and see” attitude with no action whatsoever (and perhaps very little worry or stress), which then often leads to an undesirable result when something does happen.
Here’s the thing. We all have fear. It’s a natural, and often healthy human emotion. It helps us survive in many cases. At the same time, if we let it control us, it can easily make our lives miserable – unnecessarily. The stress we add to our lives as a result may take a toll on our physical and emotional well-being, and we may miss out on some incredible opportunities because we are too afraid to consider them.
I have a real-life story about fear that perhaps will help you to relate to the “fear factor” more literally:
For 15 of the last 20 years of my life, I have participated in the sport of skydiving. Yes, jumping out of a perfectly good airplane on purpose. Of the approximately 3000 jumps I made during that time period, I continued to have some level of fear on every jump I made. And on my first 100 or so jumps, the fear was pretty intense. So why did I continue to do it, you may be wondering? Well, I did it because the feeling I got from making the jump BY FAR outweighed the fear – every time. I discovered early on that I had to do something to make the fear manageable, however, as midair paralysis would not have resulted in a good outcome and certainly would have negatively affected the enjoyment for myself and others!
So what did I do to manage my fear? First, I figured out what I was afraid of. In this case, dying was at the top of the list. What if my parachute malfunctioned, and I didn’t respond quickly enough? In this sport, you have only a few seconds to react to a problem. I was also afraid of getting injured badly – broken bones definitely came to mind, and I did get to witness a few of those (by other skydivers) early on in my skydiving career. Finally, I was also afraid of being the weak link on a group skydive, perhaps being the reason a jump was not completed successfully. Just imagine being in a team sport where everyone paid to participate, and you botched it. Then the prospect of death or injury didn’t seem quite so bad!
Seriously, though, after identifying my fears, I set out to do what I could to decrease the odds of my fears coming true. On the dying topic, I made sure I kept up to date on my emergency procedures taught in our first jump class. I practiced them often so that I would be ready to act should the situation occur (and the situations did occur, and I did act … and based on the fact I am writing this blog, I didn’t die). I also made sure my gear fit me properly, and I maintained it well. I was a reasonably practical and cautious skydiver, which means I jumped when conditions were right for jumping, and resisted the urge when they were not. And, I put in the time and effort to learn the necessary skills before I attempted to jump into situations that were “over my head.” (Pardon the pun). Finally, on the plane ride up to altitude, a conversation with the man upstairs was always part of my routine. And oh yes, I made sure I had good health and life insurance.
So, were any of my fears ever realized? Sure, they were. I managed to break a couple of bones, and be a weaker link on some team jumps. As much as I prepared, things just didn’t always go as planned. But you know what, I survived, learned what lessons I could from the situations that occurred, and I moved forward (sometimes with crutches, but it was still forward!).
I try to use that same approach to manage my fears today. Identify, prepare well, pray, act, and deal with whatever the situation turns out to be, because the world is not always predictable. And yes, a safety net (like my health and life insurance in the situation I described) is often prudent.
So, if you happen to be challenged by some fears, I hope this encourages you to take some steps to manage them and move forward. Who knows, you may even find yourself taking a leap of faith (and I mean that figuratively, of course)!
Sincerely,
Carolyn
www.transformingtransitions.com
PS … Here is a picture of me taking one of those leaps, and a song by one of my favorite artists, Kenny Loggins. Enjoy!
